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This is where if anyone comes to me with a poem they want to share
to the world (via e-mail, the damn message board, mail [regular], smoke signal, mores code, written on a napkin, over
the phone, alphabet soup, verbal or oral or anal I dont care just tell me!) it can be anonymous or you can sign it with a
fake name or real one I dont give a shit! I just want your poems I need them to survive; no seriously I do SO SEND THEM ASS!
Oh and if you read this and say to yourself "but Tim I dont write poems" Then start bitch! Unless you want to kill me! In
which case I dont want your crappy poems anyway! Alright so I hope I made it clear EVERYONE WRITE POEMS AND SEND THEM TO ME!
[Unless you hate me] nope still do it then (spelling doesnt count!)
9/18
I press 6 knowing this will be the last stop. We come to a stop the bell chimes the doors open I step out. The ground
doesn’t feel like it used to, the firm base is gone I walk on air. For once I am conscious of the potential I have
from this altitude. The Sign read "EMERGENCY EXIT ALARM WILL SOUND"; I know it won't because this is where I've
gone to think this over again and again but the time for diplomacy is gone. I step out the air is warm, I walk over to the
light that shines below illuminating the quad for the safety in the dark. But I have found peace in the dark, almost a comfort
that I can't find anywhere else. I sit in my seclusion and bask in your memories. The pain is so real, the worst part that
raps it all up is I know it's my fault. That's why this must be done. I open my bag take out my last friend. I've planed this
out so much it would seem like I've done it before. Twice around the air vent fastened with a double figure eight, 30 ft to
the same 7 lace noose I tied the night I lost my faith. As I stand at the edge looking out at the world I feel at peace. I
tighten my nylon necklace and stare at the night sky. I remember when you and I used to lay in my yard naming the stars, we
kept each other warm by being on an others "blanket" our bodies interlaced I thought it would never end. And even
now as I look into forever I know you are looking with me. I smile and the moonlight catches a single tear. No more... No
more pain will I ever cause you. I put my arms out and perform a flawless dive, the wind passing through my hair as the slack
is taken up. Don't you dare cry. Remember the pain I caused you, Celebrate this day as a new beginning.
First poem in Poets Corner
26th Floor
I walk up
the stairs make a 90 degree left then another; I look down a t shaped corridor and decide to make the right. At the end of
the hall is the door to an elevator I press the button and a faint yellow light appears behind the scratched downward arrow.
A moment later the motors for the doors engaged creating an awful sound but the doors slowly opened scratching against there
warn hinges, no light appears from the spreading black gap connecting the doors. Finally the doors come to a stop one a half
a second before the other; I take a small step forward so I am at the edge of the floor. No elevator ever arrived to greet
me; the vast silo is darker than the night. The only image I can make out is my own; the humming florescent lights (with one
flashing inside its case) project an outlaying image of my body. My shadow seems distant, it looks like someone else, I hate
it. I stand there as I stare at him and he stares right back at me, he taunts me in a way that I cannot describe, he knows
what I have done and he shows it in his sinister face. His body disgusts me; his dark form controls the light as if he if
consuming it. Why does he torment me so? Why wont he go away? I hate him so. The time has come I cannot take his eyes the
empty portrait on the wall of this shaft. I dive forward with untainted resentment, I cannot stand his existence. I hit the
wall with both fists clenched with intent to kill; they strike the metal wall and fall limp. I only realize now he wanted
this the air is loud as it screams by my ears. The blood drips from my hands and I now understand how I wanted him to die
he wanted the same for me, the floor catches me and the dust and garbage from year of neglect whips in a cloud around me.
I did it he will no longer torture me; I will never have to see his faceless figure again. I hated him and he got what I deserved.
-Phoenix
Second poem in Poets Corner
I sit on the ledge looking out on
the horizon and replay the nights events in my head.
My heart slows and I breathe deep, the cool breeze fills my chest.
I close my eyes and see you; a smile grows across my face. I hear the cars below and the ship in the harbor, they dont know
how much I love you but they will. I'm positive they will read about it or hear it soon. As time goes on I relax more and
more my grip loosens I open my eyes and look down at my hands stained red from the night. I click the safety off and reach
in my pocket for another round; I pull out a single shot and place it in the now open chamber. The pistol slaps shut making
the drops of blood on it splash on my jeans and the concrete next to me. I raise the gun as my hand trembles, it take only
one firing of a neuron in my brain, for a simple contraction in my forearm to make my trigger finger pull back, and cause
the hammer to burst the mercury in the back of the cap, sending the flame into the case igniting the powder, ramming the bullet
out of the barrel into the night sky. But its final destination is the street below, not before passing through and visiting
that very same neuron that started it all.
-Phoenix
Antenna
I pull in and turn off my lights so with any luck no one sees Im
here. The car slides to a stop on the loose stone and dirt, a small cloud rises into the air illuminated by the gate light.
I open the door it creaks open then slaps shut. As I walk towards the gate all I can hear is the sound of the car cooling
and of my steps sliding across the sandy path. The gate is locked so I walk around to find a loose section of the chain link;
I pull it back and crawl inside. As I rise to my feet it looms in front of me a monument to itself unchallenged by its surroundings.
Im drawn to it when I reach the base my response to climb feels automatic. The metal is still warm from the suns blistering
heat so my stunned hand pulls away immediately. As I start to ascend my detachment from the earth is felt by more than a just
physical means. I pull myself higher and higher towards the stars. The heat from the climb and the nights air is almost unbearable;
I pause and take sanctuary on a metallic pole and lean on another for balance. I now must remove my coat if I am to go any
further; I pull the sleeves off one by one in order to keep my footing. Without a need for the garment I let it drift gently
towards reality. It floats steadily until caught by a cross section of the steel mountain that Im so determined to conquer.
My attention drifts back from the lost coat and I gaze toward the summits red strobe. With every step I rise, the reality
seems to slip further down at an expediential rate. The sky surrounds me and for once I can see the world clearly and without
boundaries. I am almost there and the top pinches inward. I take refuge on the last spoke before the flashing red crest above
me. I sit comfortable with my legs free over the globe. I take a deep breath and acknowledge my accomplishment. The world
is nothing right now but a final destination. I dont want to go back, no one can hurt me here and better yet I cannot hurt
anyone else. I close my eyes and lean back and trust the pole, like you trusted me. The thought crosses my mind, why did you
ever trust me? I wish I didnt but I did, please forgive me Im regrettably only human. As the pole gives way I remember the
nights we were together, the way you made me smile, the way we fall asleep in each others arms. How you would tell me to stay
as you would get the drinks but as you turned around I would be standing there besides you. I remember there is nothing on
yet we watch TV for hours, how watching you sleep hours would pass like minutes. Driving in the car with your hand on mine
made me invincible. I remember you call me when you got scared when things went wrong you depended on me. I remember you call
me when things go right when you won a contest or saw something that reminded you of me. I remember the sparkle when we gazed
into each others souls. As my shoulders touch down followed by my vertebrae one by one, the sand forms around my body like
a deadly glove. With my last conscious thought I open my eyes to see you one last time, beyond the red lamp you look back
at me with a sparkle in your eye and I say goodbye.
-Phoenix
The Last Night
The night was calm like any other, I picked you up at
your house and you smiled. I could see it in you eyes, just like the day we met. Things were different know of coarse but
sometimes when the light shines on you that way I forget everything that happened and remember the days where things were
perfect. I pull out of your driveway like I have hundreds of times before, like the time I took you to the doctor when you
were sick, or the times I pull out at 5 in the morning to sneak home. We head off to the diner, the same place we always went
for any occasion. I pull in and we are seated next to that booth, the very same booth where you told me things were different.
You go to freshen up and I remember that day, I can see us sitting there and the fake smile on my face when I said it was
aright, the way you cried because you knew I was lying (you could see my heart dying). You come back and you drink was now
here same water you always ordered. You sit down we order and our meals come, we carry on a conversation to fill the air but
thats its only purpose. Later I catch you eyes and we connect I feel it in my heart and I could see you felt it, but you shook
it off, you just grabbed your drink as soon as you noticed and you broke away. We finish our meal but not our food and I get
the check, you insist on paying your half, I guess I'm thrown off because its different. We get in the car and head back to
your house, the night is so strange because we arent going to hang out after. Its sad how we said we were going out to eat
and that was that. The car ride home is cold and the music it loud over your silent voice. I pull into you driveway and dodged
the pot hole (I still remember). You get out say you had a nice time, I believe you only in the sense that it was tolerable
and you are no longer hungry. I watch you walk inside and the door close behind you, when at one point the door would be closing
behind me but things are different. I put the car in reverse and start to pull out, my actions were memorized I could do this
blindfolded. But something went wrong he wasnt supposed to be there. This cant be happening. You run outside and I hear your
scream. Your instinct is a good one and you turn the truck off as well as my car, and then run to my side. I mumble and ramble,
the thoughts are flowing too fast in my head. I look down to see the red, and it all comes into place. I slowly look up towards
your face. Youre grabbing my hand screaming for someone in the house, you look at me and yell asking if I'm alright. Red tears
run down my face, my body it shaking a way it never has before. Through my endless shiver I can speak a bit. Tell my family,
I love them and dont ever give up, ever. I love you so much. Please dont cry Im sorry. I dont ever want you to give up. I
love you. My words sound childish and are off by my cough and choke but the message is better sent through my eyes. You stare
at me crying and I cant help but think of the times we would stare into each others eyes for hours, but reasons are different
now. Its getting colder, and you cries are getting faint. I hear them coming but its almost like they are going the other
way because there sound is weakening. My eye lids are getting hard to keep open; like that night I fell asleep on your couch
trying to pay attention to the movie. The last thing I see is your face, I feel your hand holding mine like it used to on
car rides home, but now with more urgency. You touch becomes soft and finally I can now only remember you. My body is limp
but I know you are with me. Your memory like the rest of my senses begins to fade and I feel like I'm walking away, Its like
the way you feel when you leaving someone you love for a long time, or when you are leaving someone you know youll never see
again. Feels like dying. I turn around and start to walk; I shed a tear for you but cant turn back, it wont let me. Its a
long corridor, an endless path, away, away from everything. And I miss you already.
-Phoenix (not one of my best)
The night was alive and I was dying.
I sat on an old railroad tie on top
another and another, there were most likely more under the sand but I couldnt tell nor did I care. I sit and raise my head
from my toes towards the nights sky over the endless ocean. I feel the warm breeze across my face, the ocean mist envelops
me. I hear the waves break on the shore and almost forget why I am here. I hear you inside your tears fall like rain over
me. I cant help what happened all I can do it try to explain (youll never understand [nor will I]). I rise to my feet and
take a deep breath look up at the stars and am reassured that things will be alright, I remember that if things are meant
to be they will be and there is a path its all a matter of taking it. I walk over to the little wooden shack where you are.
I open the broken screen door only to see you with youre your face in your hands sobbing as if you lost a loved one. You didnt
lose me because I am still here, things are just different now and maybe later on down the path of life we will merge again.
I slowly walk across the room to grab my bag, the door smacks shut from the overstretched spring we rigged when the hydraulic
broke. I take my bag and throw it over my shoulder, your cries become more defined and louder. I hear you muttering under
your breath but I cannot make out what you are saying. I turn towards you and take a step forward, I crouch down almost sit
on my ankles, I pull back you hair and slowly take your hands away from your face. You look at me and your first reaction
is to say no and you repeat it again and again. Shhh, everything is going to be alright. Im sorry Ill love you forever, youll
always have a place in my heart She just shakes her head at my remarks. I kiss her forehead then stand up. I adjust my bag
on my shoulder and head towards the door. You cries resume more powerful than before. Now I can make out what you are saying
Dont go, dont go dont go again and again. I pause a the door and it all goes through my head, every second I was ever with
you how much we had, I truly do love you if only things were different. I raise my head and a gentile drop falls from my face
to the floor below. I open the door and start out, I hear you scream from inside, inside you know it will make no difference
but still you must try. My heart almost stops at the sound of you cries. In any other situation I would be defending you from
anything that ever hurts you, but now its me. And I feel the only way to defend you from me is this. I start to walk down
the beach where I am headed I cant even think of right now. I died that night; I had to lose it all to start again. Now its
just me and the cool damp sand under my feet, I miss you but it had to be, Im so sorry.
-Phoenix
Paper
So you say you dont understand, that you want to know how I feel.
Well here it goes....
I want you to do this but if you dont want to just imagine it. Take a sheet of paper and write something
important to you on it (doesnt have to be long just something that means something to you). Now drop it in a pool (just get
it completely wet somehow) and take it out, its messed up but legible, the ink has run and its no longer in perfect condition.
Now take the very same paper and crumple it up, then unravel it, then crumple it again into a tight ball and continue this
a few times. No matter what you do know the paper is different it cannot be perfectly smooth again, and the ink will never
be as sharp as before. Now take the paper and tear it (only once is necessary but a few times wont hurt) and tape it back
together. Now the words dont quite line up and the message may be incomprehensible. So now what? You paper is ruined, and
of no use to anyone. The only solution is to get a new sheet and start over. This time you can change the message use some
ideas or the whole meaning from the last one but make it better, remember you have a whole new sheet to work with. But now
this time be more careful with the sheet, this is the one you want to keep and work with. But dont worry the sheet can get
a little crumpled and still be good, nothing is perfect and you dont need to keep rewriting and wasting paper and more importantly
time.
That is how I view my life, as the message on paper and right now I think my paper is a pile of ashes. So I am going
to restart, I will take some of my old views and ways and keep them I just want to be a little more advanced than before.
Ill fix some mistakes, and rewrite things I liked. But right now I am being reborn so I am unstable, dont hold me to my actions
I dont understand them myself. I am just looking for the way and answers along that way.
-Phoenix
Just to make things worse
The door closes and youre gone, forever. I
stand there blank. I didnt say what I needed to; I'm paralyzed knowing I may never get to tell her how I feel. Tears begin
to fill my eyes so I turn to my car still running in her driveway, I open the door and get in. I sit uncomfortably for what
seems like forever, debating whether to get out and knock on her door. I start to imagine the door flying open and her running
out as telling me to stop, to tell me she needs me. I start to back out and my chest hurts, feels like someone dropped a bag
of cement on me. I put the car into drive and pause; I turn to her house and can still imagine her running to catch me, to
tell me it was real. My head falls to hang from my neck; I breathe deep and raise my head to the open sunroof. I look up to
try and stop the tears, even though I look as if I was crying because the rain is starting. I press the gas and my food drops
the pedal to the floor. I cant explain the fire I felt inside, the passion that was urging me on. This was the end, for once
I dont see a way out. The tears start to run as the drizzle turns into a shower. It felt like I controlled the weather with
my emotion. My fist tightly grasped the wheel as I sped down her winding road; I take the turns with unintelligent speed and
forget the brakes exist. I see the light ahead its red like always because the pressure sensor was never triggered. The last
thing I see is the Right arrow crossed by a red slash surrounded with a circle. I feel as though right now my speed will rip
the sign right out of the pavement, then I go through the light. My wheels cry and I fishtail around the next left. I start
to sing with the song I put on back at your house, my voice falls upon def ears but to myself I am excellent. I turn at the
next left and make marks on the street. The car whistles under the ridiculous speed, and I feel like the car is controlling
me. I just make the steep right on the road and I halt the car in the middle of the street. Ahead of me is a straight away,
with the bridge and but after that is a tree (not as large as I remember it but it looms in front of me, knowing). My chest
sinks and my heart dies, I am no longer in control. The pedal seems to fall to the floor with no pressure at all; the car
screams then starts to accelerate. The tachometer redlines and the gears shift, 60 70 80 85 Then the tree is larger then I
have ever seen it before. My eyes widen and my mouth slowly whispers to my self why? The car raps around the tree and the
airbags kicks me in the face I see now this solved nothing because I am further from her now more then I ever was before,
miles dont exist between us, nor does any space, only time separates us. So now I never got to tell her, and shell never know
-Phoenix
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